Make no missed takes about what you've seen. I wish sometimes. (A pleasant dream)

i had known who i was just a minute ago

an abyss of thought swept me out that window,

i lost what i understood and stood blindly by

to the person leaving, donning a new disguise

for i'm not who i thought that I thought that i had been

and peering at this picture makes it all set in.

i've been lost in myself.

a detour

made contour lines of themselves on my face

she said i looked older, i agreed, out of place,

for there's only a handful who know the disgrace

that i wear on my chest and i must suffer in taste

cause the very essence of the person i was

hates everything about the being i've become

and i digust even the rust on this stainless steel

skull

for containing the brains that made my heart dull

i need just a minute to collect my things

and while i don't want to leave i hear the song and sing

for the bells that ring ring for me too

and i realize understanding is not enough to move through

and i realize that honestly i have not a clue.

and i realize everything i thought i had knew

was realizing enough to know i didnt know me too.

squandered splendid thoughts danced across that pavement.

there were so many truths too many to count.

and i slipped on my boots; (my own two feet.)

surprisingly simple i fear this amounts,

to surprises i never thought to denounce.

and the surprising suppression of which i endured

denying the insides, to go out, be poured

from this fountain of filth where they struck a chord

with anything i've ever held to be more.

i didn't and don't mean to act such a way

and i never understood the silence in a day

can create minutes and hours and revolve around space

and this spectrum un-holy

for finding that grace.

indecisvely active i really need a drink

or some manner of taking me far from where i think

for i think that i thought to much of it all

and i think i deserve to be kicked in the balls

and i think that above anything i never learned how to fall.

for the flowers i drew with my own two hands

are wilting in the pages of my notebook.

and the weathering withers, the shreds of what was

leave me helpless in the covers of my bed.

i'll never know a lot of stuff here.

and i don't know much about last night

i do know that i am better than this

and i know the depths of the actions i took

and i know the depths of the asshole i've been

and i knew not how to act

but i didn't know what to do

and now i don't know evermore

and i know that i need to see this through

for i cant be content if none of this continues.

i cant explain.

and i can't do anything else but say from every fiber

that i never meant to be that liar, and if i would have known

i'd never had started.

and i'm sorry.

i'm sorry

i'm sorry

i'm sorry

i'm sorry.