Def Poetry #11

My shoelaces untied,

I place my soles on the side

Doors shut, hugs received

and I sigh,

for this home is familiar,

familiar but quiet

and not quite,

what it once was.

I could walk these rooms blind

and with my eyes closed

those scents trigger the hippocampus-

the memories thus released

but the intensity decreased

melancholic release of the

sensitivity once achieved.

I had believed

that these walls held love

and the roof above held ghosts

at most there once was a room for

the room needed between

defeated human beings.

I have not shouted in quite some time.

To elaborate I've not been a child here

for years and still I sense that it

recently disappeared

the notion of home

the emotions of never being alone

I've been knocked from my throne of comfort

rather im building it up

as the filling of this cup of knowledge

I've grown so much in college

came into my own and thrown against the wall

Now I wait in free fall

to see if this chute will open

or if I'm just hoping that I'll end up

with half of what my parents have.

For if i have only half

or even half that half again

then what i will have

will be enough to defend

the halves of self i've felt within

and the whole i long to see again

cause life is more than just fractions

but i want to find a home again.