how heavy heaven feels
in the weight of my fingers
stroking the skin between
my eyebrows and nose
calculations are cold
and the rigidity of their
actions cannot be left
in the memories of hands
that are not my own.
How hollow? How long until
this hallowed presence
will be gone this time?
I had my convictions made
and there on that bench
I took three steps back.
mother may I stop shaking
now and feel again?
It is refreshing yes,
but this is frightening.
I know it will always
continue but the difference
is just that.
This emptiness eclipsed
by ghost arms who never hold me anymore.
