I pray thanks for the glory of the day
the silent sunrise subtle in ways
undefined by human thought
there are bigger things at hand than
the lifespan of man
and ever ceaseless our efforts continue
I retreat constantly back into my own head
plagued with thoughts of dread
of who i am
and who i will become-
humble beginnings to tough to define
the roots of this tree of the life
the fruits of which are hesitantly beginning
to spite the cold hours i keep at night
dragging
nicotine into my lungs.
I'm a selfless entity swirled with thoughts
of self doubt and love lost
or maybe i've just lost the will to fill
the void
toyed with the ideas of moving past a boy
and into a man
Definnate
is definitions in nate
but also the definites of what's innate
defining nate has come to be a much larger portion on
a smaller plate
and i find the best way to cope is sit and wait
rest peacefully with my thoughts.
the own conceptions of the perceptions
i put out are more than common deceptions
hell bent on a life without-
certain sides of me
but hiding these prides
turns into inner spite and a tumultuous fight
for insight into what i wish to be each night.
giving up on giving in
is a small step to begin,
but letting go feels so slow
and is so painful im not sure
it's where i want to go.
this deserted path affirms that i am alone
but through the sidewalks of mind, spirit, and life
i casually stroll
for as i digest the impending fears
of years from now into the decisions i make
I'm freaking out.
This life is pregnant
on the verge of infancy
the swollen tired breasts of a mother
provide no solace in her weary walk
measurements of months
seem to small a time frame
to paint this picture right.
review the sunset in my rearview mirror
and i glimpse a clearer picture
of the road that I'm on.
for to deny the existence of such pure beauty
is a denial of love.
But always looking back
attacks the road above.
aerodynamics of my appendages prevent flight
but i think I'm ready to step from the nest
and see what wind catches these wings.
and catches my breath.
