Def poetry #8

I pray thanks for the glory of the day

the silent sunrise subtle in ways

undefined by human thought

there are bigger things at hand than

the lifespan of man

and ever ceaseless our efforts continue

I retreat constantly back into my own head

plagued with thoughts of dread

of who i am

and who i will become-

humble beginnings to tough to define

the roots of this tree of the life

the fruits of which are hesitantly beginning

to spite the cold hours i keep at night

dragging

nicotine into my lungs.

I'm a selfless entity swirled with thoughts

of self doubt and love lost

or maybe i've just lost the will to fill

the void

toyed with the ideas of moving past a boy

and into a man

Definnate

is definitions in nate

but also the definites of what's innate

defining nate has come to be a much larger portion on

a smaller plate

and i find the best way to cope is sit and wait

rest peacefully with my thoughts.

the own conceptions of the perceptions

i put out are more than common deceptions

hell bent on a life without-

certain sides of me

but hiding these prides

turns into inner spite and a tumultuous fight

for insight into what i wish to be each night.

giving up on giving in

is a small step to begin,

but letting go feels so slow

and is so painful im not sure

it's where i want to go.

this deserted path affirms that i am alone

but through the sidewalks of mind, spirit, and life

i casually stroll

for as i digest the impending fears

of years from now into the decisions i make

I'm freaking out.

This life is pregnant

on the verge of infancy

the swollen tired breasts of a mother

provide no solace in her weary walk

measurements of months

seem to small a time frame

to paint this picture right.

review the sunset in my rearview mirror

and i glimpse a clearer picture

of the road that I'm on.

for to deny the existence of such pure beauty

is a denial of love.

But always looking back

attacks the road above.

aerodynamics of my appendages prevent flight

but i think I'm ready to step from the nest

and see what wind catches these wings.

and catches my breath.